December 2010
21 posts
Shit my step-dad says
”…is like a monkey fucking a football.” -Generally used to describe my brother trying to be productive and not figuring out how to actually get a single thing done.
”Admit it: You would suck a fart from her ass.” - Translates roughly to: “Do you agree that woman has an attractive derrière?”
”You have to call women “babe” or...
Resolutions
New Years resolutions for 2011
1. Date Zooey Deschanel. (Natalie Portman got all preggers so I had to revise.)
2. Become a country and western recording artist. (Old school style.)
3. Learn to love. (Currently I love like assholes drive.)
4. Win the lottery. (and they say I’m not motivated.)
5. Get a tiger that I can ride like He-Man had.
Reach for the stars right?
A fly through of DT Phoenix…OK maybe it was done using a model of the city, but if you listen closely you can hear me making helicopter noises.
Reason for the Season
Jesus + pagan celebration + Christian intolerance toward other religions + an evolution of lore and rampant commercialism = The reason for the season
I still love it though.
uncannie: So wait, there are 5 other ladies out there? In how much of a time span? I gotta step up my game! Hit the gym! Get my hair did! I will DESTROY them with my gorgeous and natural hairy Italian beauty.
Nickel, Darling. There is only you.
M.A.S.H.
Remember that game M.A.S.H. where you wrote a bunch of options for big life things down and it predicted your future? Well screw you M.A.S.H. I want my mansion, my job as a disney imagineer, a jeep and to be married to Chaya Molina like you promised!
Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was....
Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill immediately made a Tumblr post about that shit because it was funny.
uncannie replied to your photo: Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of…
ya stud!
The caption should be read in the voice of Linus by the way.